Story by: Dee$
Industry: Public Accounting
Dear Interns of America,
Urban Dictionary defines it best. “Intern: Company bitch.” Nuff said, right?
Sure, the stereotype of the intern being the team “gofer”, the lowest rung on the ladder, and the grunt isn’t very sexy. Hell, I’m sure its even a little demeaning. However, you signed up for this s**t.
So let’s get a few things straight,
- You probably shouldn’t have an opinion unless your opinion is: “yes, you are absolutely right!” I don’t want or need you to tell me that you “like the way [you] did it”. Do you think I give two s**ts? Let me clear that right up for you, I do not, have never, and probably never will. As an intern, you barely have a name in my book. In fact, since I find it completely appropriate to call you “hey guy”, what makes you think I want or care if you have an original thought?
- Your sole purpose in life while within this office is to make my life better, not to make me want to pull out all my hair, gouge out my good right eye, jump out of the 29th story window, and beat myself repeatedly with my ten-key. Which is exactly what I want to do when I look at your work, see that its wrong, tell you step by excruciatingly detailed step how to fix it, and then hear that you think I’m wrong. Which brings me to my last point.
- I’m not wrong. And even if I were wrong, I sure as hell don’t want you to tell me I’m wrong without considering why I’m right, or after I’ve only had one cup of coffee, or without apologizing for being right. Don’t be an a**-hat. I’ve been doing this a little bit longer than you and I know what the flying f**k I’m talking about. You, however, can barely breathe without my assistance. So please, and I’m being polite here with the “please”, shut the f**k up.
We good? Kthxbye.